Lei over at My Many Colored Days (which by the way, used to be my daughter’s all time favorite Dr. Suess book) and Morning Glory from Seeds in My Garden have gotten together and created a writing forum for women called Woman to Woman. Although I don’t anticipate participating on a regular basis, I must admit the first topic was right up there with my most recent experiences and insecurities…..

“Our first topic is “In this skin…”, in which you will tell us all how aging has affected you personally, your attitude towards it and what you’ve learned from it.”

This has been a year of difficult transitions for me…only because I make it that way, if you tend to listen to my husband’s opinion (grin). You see, my husband just turned 45, our daughter turns 12 next week and in a few months I am turning 53. Now, 40, and 50 proved to be no problem for me…there were other events during those times to occupy my mind…..being told I was pregnant two weeks before my 40th birthday and then…asking my husband for a divorce several weeks prior to my 50th birthday. So you see….I had other events going on to keep me from dwelling on ‘this getting older thing’. Oh, and just as a ‘by the way’…..my husband and I are still together….weathering yet another mid-life crisis (grin).

I believe one of the most upsetting obstacles in turning 53 is my weight. I have never, even while pregnant at 40, had a weight issue. Now, I am unsure where my waist is. Many of you are familar with the saga of the ‘frumpy t-shirt’….posted on my now defunct blog Outside the Margins (a result of the onset of my bipolar, almost 53, behaviors). For those of you who are not familar with my background…I am a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal….always have been. My job, professor at a community college, allows for this kind of wardrobe preference (praise the Lord). However, for those of you who are my age and size…there is not much out there that we can fit into…that coincides with the image we have of ourselves. This makes shopping very frustrating for me. I am slowly learning to inch my way out of the t-shirt rut I and I am continuing with my walking program at the Wildlife Park…but there will never come a day again when my 53 year old body will match the body I used to have….no matter how many bowls of Special K I eat. And I grieve over this from time to time.

On a more positive note, what I enjoy most about being almost 53 is that I have earned the right to have a ‘soap box’ or two. Having experienced a great deal of life along the way, I believe it is my duty to keep those younger than me informed of my opinions….on all matters…..from my stand on standardized testing (which in case you are wondering…I am against…although I do agree…it has it’s place as long as it is not abused…which does not occur very often)……to understanding what your values are in order to make good life decisions. The rolling of eyes and the heavy sighs no longer bother me…when I am in the classroom, I have a captive audience and I have earned the right to take advantage of that (giggle).

One of the most noteworthy aspects of being this age is that I am no longer a frequent flyer on guilt trips. I don’t feel guilty anymore that my daughter can write her name in the dust that has accumulated on just about every surface in our home, or that we have to use paperplates because I haven’t had time to do the dishes (too busy blogging, by the way)….or that all the clothes aren’t folded and put away in their precise drawers(after all, I just started reading the Mitford series…who has time for laundry???). I’m too busy with life….and this is a nice thing. I am much less OCD than I used to be and this I enjoy.

So, my attitude towards aging??? Like with anything else, I have my good days and bad days. Yesterday was good, I wore my new shirt with jeans and snazzy sandals to my daughter’s birthday dinner. Today…I am paying for eating that darn Bloomin’ Onion and just had to drink a glass of prune juice…so, my attitude…at least until the prune juice works….not so good. But that’s okay…I know that later I will have the opportunity to do whatever the heck I feel like doing….because after all…(another one of my soap boxes)…..my education has provided me with the freedom to make personal choices that are in line with not only my values but with my number one goal….to be a wife and mother, no matter what my age is….and it is Spring Break at the college where I teach…yippee!!!!