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Pin Ball Thinking

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Have you ever had so many things on your to do list that the best you can do is crumble it up and throw it away and start all over? That’s how I feel about all the thoughts that are pin balling around inside my head. I wish I could just flip open the top, spill it all out, and start over.

I wonder what would hit the floor and roll away, what would land hard and explode into a zillion fractured pieces and what would stubbornly position itself right in front of me and not roll even an inch in the other direction.

Here’s what I am thinking about:

  • I haven’t been on a photo field trip in a while
  • I have friends but no best friend
  • I don’t think I have it in me to counsel children anymore
  • My father in law’s illness will change our lives
  • I wish my daughter needed friendships
  • I have writer’s and photo block
  • I worry that the cheese we buy has gone from $2.50 to $5.00
  • and the bread from $1.97 to $2.59 a loaf
  • We have a ‘free’ day today and I’m afraid I will make the wrong choices from the list of things we can do
  • My backyard garden needs a lot of work
  • I have to finish the current book I am reading before starting L.L. Barkat’s Stone Crossings: Finding Grace in hard and Hidden Places - I am so looking forward to reading this
  • I need to buy birdseed and I have no money
  • I pray my husband is strong enough to support his mom and dad in the tough times ahead
  • I need a frappucinno and I don’t have one in the fridge

So there you go. It’s all spilled out and not hurting the inside of my head anymore.

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10 Comments

  1. Posted April 24, 2008 at 4:57 pm | Permalink

    What a timely post dear. My head is popping too and my post this morning is similar in dumping. *wink*

    Hugs,
    Holly

  2. Posted April 24, 2008 at 11:42 pm | Permalink

    God is in control and it will all work itself out.

  3. Cathy S.
    Posted April 25, 2008 at 12:49 am | Permalink

    I refuse to open up my head and let things spill because if I do I might never stop and what would be left but a bunch of mush? I wish you lived closer, we could be best friends. But, alas, I have not got a spare minute anyway. My life is too full, but not a lot worth keeping.

  4. Posted April 25, 2008 at 1:32 am | Permalink

    With my luck, I would dump all the flotsam out, then step on it, slip and fall on my butt. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just took a day off and did absolutely nothing. Ahhh.

  5. Posted April 25, 2008 at 3:22 am | Permalink

    When I feel the way you do, I play music to relax. I’m now an average Autoharp player, a less than average electric guitar player, and still terrible on the harmonica. But…they make me smile. And the good news is that I can’t sing and write a “To Do” list at the same time.

  6. Posted April 26, 2008 at 3:38 pm | Permalink

    lol- it must be “dump day”…my post was along the same lines

  7. Posted April 26, 2008 at 4:42 pm | Permalink

    I’m thinking I’m going to have a post like this soon. My head is also in this state.

  8. Posted April 26, 2008 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

    I think a lot of people don’t have best friends anymore. I don’t. But I am happy to have a lot of friends and aquaintances. They bring me a lot of food. :)

  9. Posted April 27, 2008 at 9:35 pm | Permalink

    yes!!! what helps me sometimes when i have waaaaaay too much firing in my brain is to write it down on paper or screen or talk to a trusted soul. it always seems to help me to just put words to it and stops it all from bouncing around in all directions in my head. funny how that helps, but it does. take care, kathleen :)

  10. Posted May 1, 2008 at 5:40 pm | Permalink

    Whew! So much going on in that head. If it makes you feel any better, those prices for groceries sound cheap to me. The cheapest bread is a dollar more a loaf in my neck of the woods.

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