It began in my early twenties. My first panic attack. The generalized anxiety continued throughout my thirties. In my forties, the panic attacks - fueled by hormonal changes, increased. As I entered my fifties I had become an expert manager of both the triggers and the symptoms. Until now.
For thirty years I have been able to flush all of the ‘recommended’ medications down the proverbial toilet. For thirty years I refused to pop pills that would make daily living easier for me. For thirty years I struggled to make it through what has been my greatest personal challenge. Until now.
Now is the time for me to embrace ‘better living through chemistry’. With all that I am being called on to ‘manage’ at this time in my family’s life, I can’t do it by sheer will anymore. I can’t manage both my personal daily challenges and the new challenges that are making their way into our family.
When two family doctors have recommended ‘better living through chemistry’ to manage my generalized anxiety disorder and depression, now is the time to listen.
As Nurse Ratched would say in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest:
“It’s medication time.”
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8 Comments
Look out world, the complete Danielle is about to be unleashed!
I can’t wait to see the positive results from your decision!
I know that was a hard decision for you, but there’s no reason to struggle and suffer if you don’t have to. I hope and pray that you find peace.
As always, you are doing the best thing right now for yourself and your family. Hugs.
I can relate all too well, Danielle. My panic attacks started at 20-21 years old, although I had lesser anxiety much earlier. For instance, I can remember my bridge phobia as early as 5-6 years old.
I never have taken any pills, although my doctor has prescribed Paxil in the past. The potential side effects scared me too much, plus I didn’t want to be medicated all the time, just to bring me back down to normal when I had an attack. Wine works beautifully for me, and a major cleaning frenzy is also quite good!
Everyone has to find what works for them. If it’s medication time, it’s medication time.
God Bless.
May the meds be the perfect ones for you and accomplish what they are meant to.
Hi Danielle, I hope & pray that you will be fortunate to find the right medications fairly soon, sometimes it takes more than one try. I have taken so many meds in the past 13 years, & have actually ended up in the hospital due to side effects. I want to encourage you though, you’ve withstood for a long time without meds, & it’s sort of like a person whose diabetes is getting worse not takeing medication for that condition. If your body & brain need it, they need it. You shouldn’t have to “tough it out” forever. You may notice a big difference. I’ll be praying for you.
I can relate to your struggle with panic and anxiety. It’s been a lifelong battle with me too. I haven’t had a full blown panic attack in years, but I know that if/when I start having them again I won’t hesitate to get the medication I need because living with that isn’t really living at all.
I’ve been on the pills for 8 years, I had got to the point where I could not function, I had children to get to and from school, a house to run. I had no option.
I find they keep me stable, they stop the swings, and the panic attacks, and have allowed me to go to college, go to university, and now I’m embarking on being a test knitter and designer of knitting patterns.
It may take a while until you feel happy on the pills, I felt really flat for a few weeks, which was strange after feeling so panicy and just having feelings on maximum.
Now I just feel normal as long as I take the tablets.
I’m sure I’ll eventually come off them, but I’m not on a huge dose and there is no hurry, I’d like to be here for another 30 odd years!