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Since reading this post by Linda from Meahl Memories, I have been contemplating and evaluating all the relationships in my life and the part I play (or don’t play) in nurturing them. Then as God would have it (His thumbprints are EVERYWHERE), shortly after reading Linda’s post I read the following excerpt from one of my old favorites (The New Believer’s Bible):

Unfortunately, with our busy, hectic lives, the quality of our conversations with others often suffers. Our discussions seem to revolve around “surface” issues like the weather, sports events, the latest headline, or our workday. Yet, as Christians, we should go the “extra mile” to make our conversations more meaningful so that those who listen to us will be encouraged and refreshed by what we say. Those who follow Paul’s advice (1 Thessalonians 5:11) will not only develop deeper friendships, but will also be effective witnesses for the Lord.

I can’t really say that my ‘hectic’ lifestyle keeps me from nurturing old and new friendships. In 2006 I made the commitment to ‘downsize’ and ‘re-prioritize’ and this has worked out well for my family and myself. Although it appears that I am ‘busy’ – with family responsibilities, homeschooling, working two part-time ‘jobs’ (I use the term job loosely as they are not ‘jobs’ to me – they are passions) and cultivating a photography business…I have made these choices because of the flexibility and the freedom they offer. Therefore, lifestyle choice does not excuse my reluctance at nurturing relationships.

Shortly before reading Linda’s post, Miss Sam and I went to visit some dear friends. Although they only live a few hours away, our visits with each other are few and far between. I even wrote about one of our visits in my post From This Day Forward. I sadly admit that I don’t feel any further along in making the right choices in regards to relationships and friendships then when I wrote that post.

Why is it that I choose not to ‘engage’ in personal relationships as often as my heart desires? My best guess would be fear. Fear of ‘not getting it right’. I never had a template for relationships/friendships. In fact, friends were pretty non-existent throughout my childhood. As I wrote in an old post:

Friendship is a complicated issue for me. Never having friends while growing up I have always been uncertain how to be a friend.

My adult perspective looks back and understands that inviting someone into our home and lives posed too much of an emotional threat for the adults in my life. Allowing for outside interactions may have also provided an unwanted window out into a world that would provide me with the information that all was not right within the walls of my own limited world.

For whatever reasons and explorations of past understandings, it wasn’t until I entered junior high school that I had someone I could truly call a ‘friend’. Her name was/is JoAnn. And once again, as God puts his thumbprints all over our daily lives, it just so happens that after approximately eight years I got a phone call from her this weekend!! Imagine my surprise. I was not home at the time of the call and my intent is to call her this weekend as time and leisure permits. However, connections of any kind continue to be tricky for me. The lure of the dark corners of the forest at times seem much more comforting than the laughter of an old friend. How can that be?

I suppose I should take a look back at how I approached the fear of becoming a mother. My response to a family member’s reaction to my being pregnant of ‘how in the world are you going to be a mother?’ was ..’as long as I love this child with all my heart I can’t go wrong’. I needed to extend my heart to my daughter. Walk out of the forest and connect my heart with the heart of another. Perhaps I need to apply this to the nurturing and maintaining of relationships/friendships.

Perhaps a good start would be to return that phone call I got this weekend from that ‘childhood’ friend with whom I haven’t talked with in years. Perhaps a good start would be to call another friend and apologize for not coming to her New Year’s Day party again this year. Perhaps a good start would be to re-connect with a wonderful ‘acquaintance’ and meet for ‘lunch’ as we have emailed about so many times.

The opportunities to nurture relationships and friendships are woven into our day with threads that sometimes are not visible to the human eye.

Perhaps the route, for me, in going that ‘extra mile’ outside of my corner of the forest is mapped out with the threads that make up my ‘tapestry of contentment’.

All I need to do is begin reading it with my heart.

Today’s ‘Around the Square’: is Bee over at BeeRepartee. I began reading Bee’s blog when she was the ‘Bee’s Knees’ and she still is. She is snort coffee out your nose funny!!! She has just started back to school and could use some encouragement!!! I hope you take a swing by her place and say hello.

Today I am grateful for: friends that love and care for me despite my shortcomings.

Today I am going to simplify my life: by beginning the project of consolidating the posts of both of my ‘deleted’ blogs to Acres of Diamonds. This project will be categorized under ‘Archives from My Old Blogs‘.