My blog post for September 5, 2009:

“With the first week of the Fall Semester behind me…the groundwork set for the new counseling year…Sam’s high school curriculum in place…I still feel a tad bit overwhelmed but I am looking forward to the loooooonnnng weekend to bring what I can back into a manageable state…so I can carve out some time to spend on my other passions.”  

The More They Stay The Same.

Here it is 2011 and the above statement written two years ago is pretty much the same with minor differences. I’m still teaching (always my #1 passion) and have inspired my students to start our college’s first Psychology Club which means I am their adviser. I took a two year break from counseling and made the decision to return this year with the possibility of having an office in my county. Rather than having a high school curriculum in place we are looking ahead to Sam’s college curriculum (just have to increase those College Placement Test math scores!!). And the passions….well if you refer back to the original post my passions have been narrowed down. A LOT.

Although I still grab my camera and go every now and then the dream of getting it ‘out there’ has been on the back burner for a year or so now. And scrapbooking? That has been resisting urges to just pack it all up and and go all digital. Yet for now, to the back burner it goes.

Now let’s talk about writing. That’s where all my muses have been meeting leaving very little time for much else.

Writing has become so much of an obsession that even my Daybooks here on my blog have become neglected….now WHAT is with that????? Isn’t my blog where I write?? If you could see the piles of yellow legal pads (both used and unused) you would begin to understand the direction that I have been moving. At warp speed…or so it seems at times.

It started with the idea of Addie Grace. Remember her? I introduced her here. It was there that the proverbial snowball rolled out of control and turned into an avalanche. With one writing course under my belt and halfway into the second one, I am finding I may have to buy my legal pads warehouse style.

Addie Grace now has a whole cast of characters joining her:

Kayden: the husband

Tobi: the daughter

Piper: the best friend

Jake and Celia: the parents

Ryder, Mickie, Darby, and Morgan: the siblings.

And that’s all I’m sharing. But I do intend to be back here more frequently to share other areas that I am exploring. I hope to see you back here soon.

For me it has been the physical changes that have taken over my immediate attention. It’s been a matter of getting down to the business of aging and embracing it.

First and foremost I haven’t colored my hair since January. One last cut (which will be tomorrow) will have my hair totally and naturally gray. The new cut will be:

Bought new glasses last week:

Next step will be to get some professional help with eye makeup…I hear purple is good for sexy women such as myself.

The most significant step in this journey. FINALLY enrolling in a writing course:

Beginning Writer’s Workshop

Thanks to the College of Central Florida for providing the benefit of having the $110 fee waived. I am so excited about this new step. Will keep you posted on my progress.

Other midlife transitions…..

• donating all the books in my To Be Read pile. This may seem trivial to some individuals but for me it was quite freeing. My To Be Read pile resulted in five recycled bags that were like an anchor around my brain…sinking me deeper into the realm of “jeez, that doesn’t interest me anymore, but I need to complete what I set out to accomplish” guilt. Gone. No more reminders of things I thought I would do but just wasn’t motivated enough to follow through.
• finding another way to bring joy to people through my photography. As stated in this post I have found a wonderful way to not only use my photos but also to incorporate my deep desire to begin reconnecting with people through different venues other than email and Facebook…that would be, once again, SEND OUT CARDS. I absolutely have been exploring all the possibilities. This tool has remarkably simplified my life and pared down that annoying ‘to do list’ that continually replays itself in my head. I love.love.love it!!
• I also have begun to make more of my “bookmarks”. I had someone comment on mine the other day. She loved the photo and the spiritual message I had “photo shopped” onto it. What a wonderful opportunity she provided for me to spread the Word. I left the bookmark along with her tip. I am going to make a stack of the bookmarks to keep with me and when the opportunity presents itself….I will just “leave it behind’ for another to pick up and use.

And so there you have some things that have been raising up the dust here in my corner of the world. Like the title says:

Midlife transition ~ bring it on!!!! Will update with pictures soon.

…when I hear my father’s voice, feel his presence, or smell his cigar. Although I have many memories of my father, my most blessed are folded deep within the moments of the last week of his life. Holding his hand and rubbing it softly as he slept and kissing his cheek so soft with age as I arrived and left on my daily visits. It’s the significance of these snippets of time that comfort me when he stops by to say ‘hello’ and leaves again in the wisp of a moment.

There was no funeral. There was no memorial service.  Just a squeeze of his hand and a last kiss goodbye.

No place to go and place wildflowers (his favorite). No place to go and rest my heart. No place that marks the life and death of a man that was both complicated and simple.

That is until I remembered.

My father was a loyal supporter of the Veteran’s Park of Ocala Florida. When the park was just in it’s infancy my father donated enough money to have a bench built and placed near the entrance:

This is where I go when….

I miss him and need to talk with him.

I miss him and want to tell him I love him.

I miss him and just want to ‘sit’ with him.

I miss him and have a newly picked wildflower to share with him.

Thanks Dad.

Here are some chapter titles from the series “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”….who needs to read all the books….just put the titles on post-it-notes and paste to your bathroom mirror and you will be good to go…you can throw that can of Arrid Extra Dry into the trash (it’s depleting the ozone layer anyway):

• Make Peace with Imperfection
• Learn to Live in the Present Moment
• Choose Your Battles Wisely
• Look Beyond Behavior
• Develop Your Own Helping Rituals
• Look for the Extraordinary in the Ordinary
• Wish Wonder Woman Goodbye
• Go with the Twists and Turns
• Protect Your Inner Flame
• Learn About Moods and Money
• Create from the Inside Out
• Go Ahead and Do It
• Persevere
• Don’t Take It All So Seriously
• Remember that Everything Has God’s Fingerprints on It

Off to buy a pack of post-it-notes. See you at Office Max!

Around about October I began thinking about changes I would like to see in the coming year. It was when all the “trimmings” (not just the tangible ones but the warm and fuzzy feel good acts of kindness)for the upcoming holiday season began making their appearance in the stores, in the media, and on and on and on. There was something that just didn’t “feel right”. Something that kept “nibbling” at me. And so in search of relief from that “nibbling” sensation I spent these past few months reading, contemplating, reviewing, dreaming, assessing, and let’s not forget praying about what I didn’t know was bothering me.

In between my journey of reading the whole bible (I began in 2008 with the New Testament and am now in Old Testament Jeremiah) I go back and re-read Psalms. What I call “bible dipping”. As I was reading, contemplating…..I came across some notes that I had written beside Psalm 15:

“summary of righteous conduct – ten standards to determine how we are doing”

“areas to work on”

And there in bold print I noticed:

Theme: Guidelines for living a blameless life

God’s Thumbprints is what I call these little “windows” or “ah-ha” moments. There it was…God stating specifically the changes that need to be made in 2011:

Lord, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous,

who speaks the truth from his heart

and has no slander on his tongue,

who does his neighbor no wrong

and casts no slur on his fellowman,

who despises a vile man

but honors those who fear the Lord,

who keeps his oath

even when it hurts,

who lends his money without usury

and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things

will never be shaken. (Psalm 15 NIV Translation)

I found the answer to what was “nibbling” at me. It’s not what you do during the “holydays” it’s what you do the rest of the year.

If you preach it, you must live it…..all year round…day in and day out.

And so another journey begins. Finding peace with that “nibbling” feeling. Understanding that it’s not just about Him during the “holydays” but every day. And not just about “me” and my little corner of the world but about the world outside of my comfort zone.

The first step in this journey is moving outside my “devotion” time and living it. This is the precept behind the three “buttons” to the right of this post. As you click on each one you will become acquainted with areas that I have challenged myself to work on. A way for me to honestly respond “yes” to the question:

Do you serve God EVERY DAY in the daily routines of not only your life but the life of others – known and unknown?

How about you? How are you exploring ways in which to serve God outside of your comfort zone?

As you may have noticed I changed my blog name to “The Writing Life”. This creative move is much like sharpening one’s pencils and purchasing a ream of yet unblemished paper….then commencing to staring at it until inspiration grabs ahold….and the trash can (now called the ‘recycle bin’) overflows.

Yet, I am determined that I not be thwarted in my attempt to reach into the depths of my conciousness and search for excellence (as defined by my perspective only of course).

Therefore, as only a twenty-first century writer would do (one who has been suffering from a year long bout of “writer’s block”), I googled “writing prompts”. As I surfed through the various suggestions I came upon a gem of trivia that blended well with recent events. Did you know:

December is write a friend a letter month??????

Neither did I.

In keeping with the twenty-first century theme however, I have it on my heart to write that letter to a friend (not via the outdated pen – or pencils sharpened to the point of perfection – and paper method but out here in cyber space) whom I recently connected with – a kindred spirit that has (sadly – and my fault alone) not been a part of my life for thirty-seven years.

During our time of first year college roommates Lynne wrote the following poem for me/about me. I have treasured it all these years, hopeful that there would at least be a fragment remaining of the person she wrote about as I grew away from those turbulent years of awakening:

And with that “closed-eye sureness”….I turned my back and walked out on our friendship. A behavioral pattern that would leave it’s mark on decades of that “unseen path”.

In honor of “Write a Friend a Letter” month. I dedicate this letter to Lynne.

Dearest Lynne,

Reconnecting with you yesterday was a Christmas blessing. Although you had expressed doubts as to how our time together would go – I never doubted it for a second. Yet, how could you not doubt how our reunion would go. How could you know that I had turned my back and walked away from our friendship because I knew no other way to treat the people that were closest to me…I didn’t even know…or remember. If I had, I believe that I would have approached our re-connection with much trepidation tinged with hopefulness.

Instead, I looked forward to being with someone who “knew me when”. Someone who understood that “the swamp” was much more than a place to sleep and that Bob Dylan could in fact sing.

I was not disappointed. As our time together ended and my husband and I were driving off to “our lives” I was overcome with sadness. I realized what I had missed all those years of disconnection. I became overcome with grief at not having shared the ups and downs of growing up and growing wise. The conversations that never were, the hugs that found their way to other people.

As we continued the drive home, the sadness began to lift and the heart knowledge that you are now in my life began to wrap around me like your cool blue sweater.

You, dear friend, are the one who continues to go “shirtless” while the “lives of others bind with coats and ties”. I admire that. I treasure that. And because of you I hope to give that part of me a “rebirth”.

I am so grateful that you have allowed me back into your life. You are that part of me I lost so long ago.

Your friend,

Danielle

Hoping to keep the dust off the keyboard and fulfill my commitment to “The Writing Life”. Wish me luck.

]]> http://daniellebatog.com/2010/12/20/a-christmas-blessing-of-friendship/feed/ 3 http://daniellebatog.com/2010/08/06/birthday-reflections/ http://daniellebatog.com/2010/08/06/birthday-reflections/#comments Fri, 06 Aug 2010 21:54:43 +0000 Danielle http://daniellebatog.com/?p=948

A more wonderful and satisfying day I could not have imagined. That was my birthday. A day of total selfishness. And selfish I was. I enjoyed  breakfast with a treasured friend, spent some of my birthday money on Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, worked in my back garden and added a few 70% off decorations from JoAnn’s and Michaels…..this purchase is by far my most favorite:

and then I took a nap until it was time to go to Applebee’s and enjoy some pulled pork tacos with my handsome husband. And being a Big Brother addict, my birthday would not have been complete without watching the latest episode of Big Brother before calling my birthday a huge success.

Yet with all this contentedness surrounding my birthday I would like to talk a bit about where my thoughts found me throughout the day…..reflecting on all the wonderful individuals who took the time to wish me a happy birthday!! Y’all deserve a special and heartfelt thank you because it is the people – not the events – that make each and every birthday a moment to remember.

My Husband and Daughter: Just the blessing of having you love me is all I ever need or want  from the two of you.

My Mother-In-Law and Sister-In-Laws: You are my real family.

My Father: I continue to love your cards on special occasions and I understand that you do the best that you know how under the circumstances.

My Brother: My greatest wish has been that our relationship wasn’t thwarted at such a young age. You continue to be my hero and the only one I can trust with the deepest darkest parts of me.

My Niece Jennifer: I am blessed every time you post a status update on Facebook!!!

My Cousin Carol: Although I must agree New York is where you need to be, I still hate that we aren’t close enough to share a glass of wine or two.

My Cousin-In-Law Susan: Wish we lived closer!!!

Miss Kristanne: A more thoughtful and truer friend I could never imagine. You stay friends with me even when I am not the friendliest. What more can a friend ask for.

Miss Lori: Words will never be able to express all your friendship means to me. You GET me….you make me laugh…and you notice the little things…and care. You’re the best!!!

Miss Betsy: It’s so wonderful to have a friend to share the ups and downs of parenting and to remind each other which things won’t matter 100 years from now.

Miss Pamela: I miss you terribly….even though I miss your birthdays and your 25th anniversary. You are an extraordinary individual who I wish still lived the next town over….I enjoy sharing our parallel paths.

My High School Friends: Reconnecting with all of you on Facebook has me regretting that I didn’t grow up a little bit sooner and went to all those high school reunions. Y’all enrich my life with your status updates and your encouraging words on my “wall”.

My College Roommate Lynne: Do you remember writing this???

To My Roomate Danni – October 21, 1972

as the lives of others

bind with coats and ties

you go shirtless

an open-neck life

a closed eye sureness

of the unseen path

Oh to go shirtless again!!!!!!!

My Blogging Friends: What can I say…..many of us have been together close to five years and have shared many, many, things without ever meeting face to face…and then some of us have been blessed to share a meal or two with each other. Either way….your walking beside me over these years has been both refreshing and encouraging. Y’all are the best!!!!

My Blessed Students and former Students: A hearty thank you for your birthday wishes and your support. You lift me up every class period and broaden my perspective every semester.

And so those have been my thoughts during and after my birthday celebration.

I am blessed.

“It is this intangible thing, love in many forms, which enters into every therapeutic relationship…and it is an element which binds and heals, which comforts and restores.” Karl Menninger

Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes…they meant the world to me.